Posts

The messy update.

 Since my last blog... our lives fell apart. Right after my mom bought her own house, our homeowners told us we needed to move or buy. We fought for a year trying to buy that house and the house next to it. They both fell through for very silly reasons. Almost like God was protecting us from something. Looking back, idk how we would have survived with rising prices and a heavy mortgage. It forced us to move back to Calvert, to my dad's house, which my brother now owns.  My dad was a single father. My mom left when i was 7. I was the baby and only girl. Although we would fight, we were extremely close. Yet, at the end of his life...he wouldn't speak to me. I thought he just didn't like me as a person, maybe my politics, beliefs. Turns out, after I gave birth someone in the family created a VERY nasty rumor about me (accessing him of something horrible) and he believed it. That's why he didn't  speak to me. Thats why no one came to visit me in the hospital after i gav...

The messy truths we shouldn’t share......

Facebook memories are a bitch, amarite???? Either super fond memories or post that make you want to go back and punch yourself in the face. I was reading over a typical long rant with an all-to-familiar underlying feeling of social media dread. I slowly started accepting that not sharing my truths outright was making me look and feel like a ranting loon. I understand airing these truths may piss some people off. There are two sides to every story..this is mine.  Both my parents had very traumatic childhoods. They both were very poor, moving around, unprotected and heavily taken advantage of. That generation didn’t have information at their fingertips. Mental health resources were stigmatized. They were forced to live with their trauma. Despite the deep seeded issues these life traumas manifested into, I love both my parents deeply.    Growing up, especially after my mom left, I became the “woman of the house” and no longer had an identity. My success and future just wasn’...